Today and yesterday not so great.
I still have the weird headache. The intensity rises and falls but the sensation around my temples, particularly my left temple, is always there. I can feel it in my forehead, my cheek bone, my nose, and sometimes behind my ear or at the back of my head. When it is really bad, I can feel it throbbing with the beat of my pulse, but mostly/usually it is like a tingly pressure sensation that sometimes makes me feel foggy, like I can’t think or focus quite clearly.
It feels like I have a head cold or a sinus headache but am not actually sick – I don’t have a sore throat or a stuffy nose or a cough or any other cold like symptoms except this month-long headache.
Really trying to talk myself out of the idea that I have a brain tumor. It’s just very unlikely and I think I’d have other symptoms if it was. It’s more probable that is has to do with my hormones or some sort of chemical imbalance like low iron or something like that.
I had acupuncture last week on the 14th and I felt like it helped, or at least didn’t make it worse. But then I had acupuncture again yesterday on the 21st and my headache was noticeably worse and turned into a migraine. I felt a lot of pressure in my head an cheeks and over the course of the day took two excedrins and one tylenol with little relief. I felt nauseous after I got home and took a hot shower and had laid down in a dark room by 7pm, basically sleeping through until about 6:30am this morning. Migraine is gone but pressure headache on left side remains.
Period has also ended. It was late (began on Jan 17th, the 33rdday, when I usually have a 28-30 day cycle), and was very painful and quite heavy with a lot of clots for about 3 days and is now done after 5 days. I had my ultrasound on Friday the 18th on day 2 of my cycle and it was suuuuuper painful just to roll from side to side or have the wand pressing near my pelvis.
Andrew and I went for Japanese Village on Friday - and it didn’t sit well with me; I had a lot of cramping and diarrhea afterwards – but there was a woman there talking loudly enough for the entire table to hear about her medical issues and some were similar to mine. She had menstrual changes and abdominal issues and nausea and always felt unwell and had headaches and it turned out she had a tumour on her thyroid. I am confident I don’t have a tumour on my thyroid but I did have hypothyroidism come back on a blood test in 2016. It wasn’t super significant but I’ve never had it re-evaluated since then and maybe that’s playing a part in all this. I think I will ask the naturopath or the OB/Gyn if I can get my TSH, Free T4, and Ferritin levels checked out. I will have to pay if the naturopath requests it but I think he’s the most likely or most willing to do it. And I really don’t want to go back to my GP. Especially with the new symptom of headaches, I feel like he will think I’m a hypochondriac or making it up or am just looking for pills or something... which makes me feel like he doesn’t believe what is happening to me and therefore is unwilling to help me. I mean he’s never said as much, but he’s never really taken action of his own initiative. He’s referred or ordered tests when other specialist have advised him to or when my mum begged him too and otherwise he’s very much on the “ride it out” stand point.
I just want to feel normal again. I want to trust my body again. Or at least know what I’m dealing with and how to manage it. If I know I’m just going to have abdominal issues and chronic migraines for the rest of my life but that it’s definitely not a cancer or something that will rupture or something I will need acute medical treatment for, then I’d feel safer to make plans and go about my life.
We’re planning a family trip (my mum, my sister, and our families) to DisneyWorld in October and I’ve still promised Keida I would re-book our trip to Paris when I am well but I am just so scared to leave the city and the vicinity of a hospital, never mind leaving the country!
Right now, today (last week was fine), I’m finding it hard just to get through the work day. Like moving my eyes around from my screen to paperwork is difficult, and doesn’t help my headache. Thought about getting my eyes rechecked but I just had my 2yr check up at the end of September 2018, so I’d have to pay for another exam, maybe I’ll wait and see what the OB/Gyn says on the 31st and go from there. If he’ll do an MRI that would definitely put my mind at ease but I’m preparing myself for him to say “doesn’t sound like a gyne issue” and no further follow up needed, which will be absolutely crushing.
I really just want to have a pity party and cry but I don’t think that helps anything. Google even tells me there’s such thing as depression headaches, which of course makes me feel like the cause of all of this is in my head; but it’s really hard not to feel down when you feel like you’re not participating in life like you normally do and are just going through the motions so you don’t lose your job or your house while meanwhile being really fearful that you have a significant but undiagnosed medical issue. Trying to keep focused on the fact that if there were something “really wrong” that something would have some up in one of the CT scans or in my bloodwork or ultrasounds or something.
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