I'm struggling. Not in general, and not every day; If you asked me this time last week I would've been pretty positive and upbeat. But I'm in an emotional valley right now.
Summary of the last three months and elaboration of my emotional state below:
I went back to the GP a week after my January appointment because my headaches hadn't gotten any better. He basically said "well if they haven't gotten worse, that's a good sign!" and left it at that. I felt deceived. Last time he made it sound like if they hadn't gone away, there would be more investigating to do. So I left and I cried.
I've only seen him once since for my pre-op assessment for my laparoscopy (more on that below), which was hugely uneventful.
I went back to the Naturopath on Jan 30th and he said headaches can definitely be caused by or made worse by the Zaxine. He said it could be a die-off effect. He gave me some other herbs that cost a chunk of change, and a prescription for some other drug for constipation to "get things moving" but said not to fill it unless the headaches subsided as it can also cause headaches. I took the herbs but I never went back. I got the feeling he was very fixated on Sibo/IBS and bowel health and I don't really feel like that's what's happening. I've not had any kind of follow up call or check in from them so I guess it was for the best.
I saw the OB/Gyn on Jan 31st. He was GREAT. I didn't have to convince him even a little bit about my pain, he understood from the outset and was kind and reassuring and not at all dismissive. Although he did no physical exam at all, he said he had reviewed all my files from the hospital, he outlined all the usual reasons for pelvic pain and why or why not he thought that reason applied to me. He said he thought it could be endometriosis or scar tissue/adhesions. Both of which can only be diagnosed by diagnostic laparoscopy, neither show up on ultrasounds etc. So would I like to do that? I almost burst into tears of happiness. Yes! I would like any kind of option that brings me closer to answers! Bring on the surgery, let's get rollin'! So we agreed and my surgery date was settled a few days later as March 28th. I was feeling very positive about this.
Back to the headaches. Acupuncture wasn't helping the headaches. In fact, they were getting worse with a swollen/strangling feeling in the front sides of my neck sometimes. My acupuncturist suggested a massage therapist. I saw Lauren for the first time on February 27th and it was FANTASTIC. She spent almost an hour on my neck. Said my neck and scalp were super tight. She also massaged my TMJ joints including inside my mouth. She gave me some stretches to try and tips like soaking in an Epsom salt bath with my neck fully submerged or trying mustard seeds heated up on my neck. I saw her a couple times plus a chiro she recommended (Dan at Fix). The chiropractor wasn't as helpful with the headaches but did definitely improve my range of motion and loosened me up overall.
Since seeing Lauren my headaches have been much better and far less frequent, and I can usually feel the tension coming on in my neck and work on stretching and massaging and heating before it becomes an issue. I also bought a foam roller because a friend had said it helped him with knots in his neck after a car accident. Well, it does, but it really hurts the day after. And as weird as the headaches were (so different from my typical headaches) I do think now that they were/are likely tension headaches, either from the stress of this illness or stress at work, I'm not sure. But not a brain tumour. Like I was having nightmares about.
I also tried cupping form my acupuncturist and wow! I loved it so much! I'm not sure if it really did anything for my abdo/pelvic pain or for my headaches, but it felt SO good. Very similar to a massage.
I went in for my laparoscopy on March 28th. You have to fast beforehand, not a lot, like from midnight, but by noon I was so tired and hungry and my pelvis hurt and I had a killer headache. So I went into it hurting and a bit emotionally overwhelmed but hopeful that because I was having symptoms right then and there, that something would be inflamed enough to be found.
Well, nope. I came out of anesthesia with no pain, headache gone, and a handwritten note "All went well. No complications. All looks normal. No endometriosis. No scar tissue." and a date of April 18th for my follow-up appointment.
This was so disheartening. I wasn't glued to the idea that I had endometriosis, but I thought, especially being symptomatic in the waiting room, that there would be SOMETHING found. But no. So crushing. So now I still have to wait two more days to see where to go from here.
I thought "well, maybe it's just hormonal, maybe I should see about going back on oral birth control to see if that will help regulate my hormone levels and help my pain and my emotions surrounding my pain." But recently, I'm not so sure.
Cupping - March 25th
Post-Op - March 29th
Lap scar in belly button - Apr 9th
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